Goodbye

School Anniversary

POSTED ON Sunday, February 28, 2010 AT 2:20 PM \\

HELLO! HELLO!
im just here to show u some pics and vids about our school anniversary!
sorry if its too blurred.
my cell has a VERY LOW QUALITY.

Clariz~Dwy~Judith

the one at the middle is not my classmate but my schoolmate and my classmate before during 6th grade.

~PUGO~
my GAY CLASSMATER.
and the one that im kind of annoyed at.

~extra~
but oniisan ___ is there! ^///^

oh~ i wish i had his picture when he is wearing a girls costume!
he's so funny!
i'll just update u everyone if i saw it and with a clear version! ^^

oh and here's the vid.

DANCE CLUB
sorry if its blurred.

GLEE CLUB

BACKSTAGE
sorry if its kind of messy.

HANDMIME
this is my part.
if u notice that someone was kind of late during their actions.
that was me.

well thats all for today.
sorry if its too BLURRED!!!

EXTRA!!!

Here's Chino's pic! ^^

and here are the other vids! ^^

SCHOOL BAND part 1

SCHOOL BAND part 2

hahaah! my voice's there! never thought it sounded terrible! ^^

oh and here's Kathy's confession! :P

THE END!!! ^^

Labels: Extra:

Yellow Team Lost...

POSTED ON Saturday, February 20, 2010 AT 8:23 PM \\

February 20, 2010
Saturday

The last day of our Sports Fest.

Our only CHAMPIONSHIP is Basketball Boys and Volleyball Boys...
but we lost in Red team...
so we became the second placer in CHAMPIONSHIP...

then after a while
we practiced and practiced...

but at the end
we lost...

i mean...
we're already LEADING
but we became the 4th in Bench Cheering...
so the Green Team wins...

you know...
this is my first time that the team that i'm part of lose...
i never thought about it...

But im happy for Green team!
i'm that they beat us! ^^
just kidding...
of course i'm also sad...
cause we lost...

oh well...
its just part of a game...

then during dismissal...
i'm still there..
talking to my best friend...

and when its only...
i think 5-10 people there in the school...
with me and my best friend...

im surprised that the one i kind of like is still there...
he's almost near to me... i mean us...
but he never spoke to us...

i mean...
why would he?

but really...
i'm wondering why...

but as i went out of the school...
i'm glad that he's going home now...
with his friends too..

so i went home while having those paint in my arms and face...
and its so hard to remove it..
but anyways...
i kind of enjoy the Sportsfest This year...

that's all for today! ^^

Tanoshimi ne!

Labels: Extra:

UnFair...

POSTED ON Thursday, February 18, 2010 AT 5:24 PM \\

hello...
im back again...

well im here again to tell you my feelings right now...

so lets begin... (-- not in the mood

February 18, 2010
Thursday

It was our second match in school for basketball girls
i was part in the third quarter
so i was there
but~
i was like invincible there
i mean...
they never pass the ball to me.
i just keep on snatching the ball and passing it to others...

but before that...
one of my team mates said

"Once you're in the game, and they bump on you or something, tell the referee to sub so i'll be in change."

thats what she said..
i just nodded and play the game.
but i didn't follow her instruction...
my team mates... SHOULD BELIEVE at the things that i can...

but still, they dont trust me.
so we lose.

i really got mad, cause my place is so free and yet they are not passing it to me.
sigh
they should just have believed at the things that i can do to help and score...

but no...
so at the end..
we lose...

im still upset right now and cried.
i talked about this to my friend
but its just too painful...
so i kind of cried...

but then...
im still kind of mean.
but i went home immediately...

-sigh-
CURSE YELLOW TEAM!!! >O<

oh and...
there's this guy that i find it cool...
but i wont say his name anymore.
the way he moves, act are so cool.

he kind of fits some character...
REMINDERS!!!

his not my crush... okay...
oh and...
my 1% crush..
im not sure but i think he hates me..
i think he knows that im kind of looking at him sometimes...
well, he's kind of cute thats why...
but its okay...
but it kind of hurts... my heart... but its really okay...
and... nevermind...

okay and here's what happened yesterday...

February 17, 2010
Wednesday

Yesterday...
i mean like what happened during 18, we also lose in our game...
at first i never thought of them not passing the ball to me...
its okay...

but of course we should cooperate...
and was sad cause he's not there...
but anyway...

i forgot the other...
oh i remember... just a little...

after the game...
i have the feeling that i want to cry...
but dunno why...
and now i know why...

now thats all for today! ^^
look forward for next time okay! ^^

Labels: My Feelings

Weird Dream...

POSTED ON Tuesday, February 16, 2010 AT 4:49 AM \\

Hello i'm back again! ^^
well im just here to share what i just dreamed a while ago while...
of course sleeping.

February 15, 2010
Monday

Since we dont have any classes, cause its the break time for JS prom...
we stayed at home of course.
while me here bored.

but anyway.
its not about that.

before my mom woke my brother up
i had this weird dream...

it was like...
the continuation...
but actually, i forgot what is my first dream.
so i'll just tell everyone my second dream.

so its like this.
after my mom woke up my brother, so he left and i slept again.
then after a while i was in a dream. AGAIN.

then while i was in that dream
i was in my Father's province...
having a grumpy face....
cause i really hate that province.
so i talked to my mom that we should go home now.
cause its very boring here.

so i walk by 3-5 steps.
WOAH
i was like
in PARIS.
and i was so happy cause i was in Paris.
then there's a Flier went by to my face so i read it.
it says

Free trip to Paris for 510 one way

and i was like "KYAA!!!"
then another 3-5 steps i saw my best friend.
i told him that Lets go to Paris!
and he was also happy and excited.
after a while

were in Paris already.
and as we we're looking around
it was like
we're in a golden dome i think
and my best friend fell down and someone saw this.

i rescued my best friend and so after i looked back.
i was outside already in the dome.

so i went back inside, to my surprise, my room was gone already.
and my best friend lost his room as well.

then we checked all the room.
my room looks like it became a storage room for foods.
so i knocked at the front door and said if can we stay here for a little longer.
even though their room is quite messy.

the person that i asked to share a room is like...
one of my characters. Kouku and Fai
but it looks like it was also Tsujiai-kun and Kaji-kun from ULTRAMANIAC.

weird ne~
then after a while
we just noticed that the room is already moving.
i mean like, we we're driven away...

then after a while...

i woke up then thats it!

weird ne! ^^
but anyway, i enjoyed it too!
oh and the kind of water that my best friend fell onto, is a little dirty.
but i also fell down there you know! gross...

oh and the other dream before that.
i think it was friday or saturday.

but anyways
here's how it goes...
another WEIRD DREAM

Dont really remember when it happen...
but

i was in a different place.
an unfamiliar place.

and it was still under construction.
but some parts of that place is already finished and its really beautiful.

it seems to be a huge school.
like in some Magical School you see in some anime.
or like in Harry Potter.

i was uh~
second year there
yest finished First Year.

i was transferred there and i thought it looks fun here.
it was really like a magic school.

then...
as i enter the main gate
i saw some people taking a bath at the shower.
i dont know what happened to me but i also went to that shower and of course take a shower..
but someone got mad at me cause its not yet the time for BATH TIME

so i went out with a japanese swimsuit. the one piece type.

then after a while...
i was like...
i went to the restricted area
where only members are allowed..
so when i was finding my way back
i cant..
i mean
i cant climb that particular place
but i did my best so i was able to climb it.

then after a while
i remember what club should i join now that im a 2nd year student
then i just suddenly remember my promise to my best friend that we'll join Writers Club once we reach 2nd year.

and it was like i broke my promise now that i transferred..
then suddenly i thought

is this a dream? why does it look so real?

i really thought that it wasn't a dream
then i just woke up...

surprising ne~
i really thought its real~

i was like
almost in danger there...

but anyways!
look forward for nextime okay! ^^

Look forward for next time okay!

Labels: Extra:

Valentine's day! ^^

POSTED ON Sunday, February 14, 2010 AT 3:34 PM \\

February 11, 2010
Thursday.

i was so excited cause for the first time
i'm going to make my own HOME MADE CHOCOLATE!!!
so after class

i went home immediately
but ARGH!!!

hate my mom!
this is suppose to be my first time baking!
but nothing happen!

she told me that she dont know how to use our oven
so i have no choice but to buy!
but i was kind of lazy
so i just didn't bought anything...
i was kind of disappointed...
and the other bad thing that happened to me
is that the novel that i post in my blog!
WAS DELETED ACCIDENTALLY!!!
I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE LIKE THAT!!!
SO NOW!!!
I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO REDO THE NOVEL AGAIN!!!
ARGH!!!

its just not my lucky day ne...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~

February 12,2010
Friday

sigh~
its almost Valentines day
too sad that we dont have school in Valentines cause its Sunday
so we dont have school.
we dont have school days during Saturday and Sunday...

then early in the morning
as i went to my classroom
i went out and Job called me and let me went to his classroom
i thought that his just making fun of me~

so i as went inside
Nathaniel went near to me and gave me a chocolate. a white chocolate which means A Friendly chocolate.
then i just suddenly remember that

OH!!! I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU MY CHOCOLATE!!! ow~ im so sorry...

but then i thank him and i was so happy cause i receive a chocolate.
its my very first chocolate! ^^
oh and here's how it looks! ^^

~Blanc Extra Thin~

here's a close up.

and here's how it looks on the inside! ^^ it really taste good! ^^

and here's the whole wrap in it! ^^

so i thought
i wish someone would give me too...
i mean
other guys.
even just a friendly chocolate! ^^

but that's just it.
no gave me anymore.

oh~ and i suddenly remembered my close friend.
then i ask nathaniel

Are you going to give some chocolates to Katherine?

then he said "Yes"
and i was so "KYAA!!!"

i was so excited.
but i didn't have the chance to see how he gives the chocolate to her.
well thats because i just came in the classroom and eating.
then i just saw and heard Clariz shout cause ... she's like ahm...
flattered.

Katherine received a DARK CHOCOLATE!!!
which means... "I WANT YOU!!!

oh~
im so happy for Katherine! ^^

and thus~
oh wait.

Job also told me that he was about to give me a chocolate too...
but he forgot...
and Clariz as well...
well i dont know if Katherine is about to give me..

but anyway.
i promise to myself that i'll return the favor to Nathaniel on white day! ^^
Which is March 14! ^^
he'll have to wait for that! ^^

oh and nextweek.
i'm going to give a friendly chocolate to Kathy and Clariz and Job! ^^
even though he didn't gave me a chocolate! ^^

~Skip~Skip~Skip~Skip~Skip~Skip~Skip~Skip~

then it was our CLUB TIME.
but all we just do is talk and talk.
until its dismissal time.

we practice one last time before we go down.
so as we go down
we saw lots of performers for our School's Anniversary! ^^

i saw some of the other clubs performance and it was so beautiful.
and i saw Katherine! ^^
wah! she's so sexy from the way she dance!

but anyway
when its our Clubs turn already
i was kind of nervous...
well just a little...

then when its our turn now~
kyaa!!! this is it!

as we perform...
it was like...
no ones watching...

but then suddenly...
_____ he went at the center and saw us Perform!
i was kind of nervous.
but im sure that im not the one he's looking at~
i bet its someone.
but at least i did well! ^^

then when we're done already...
i went to the canteen and Kathy told me that...
___ is looking at me as we pass by~
i was kind of flattered...
but no~
maybe thats just because he's reading whats witten on my back.
but she also told me that
he's also looking at me when i went to the other side...

-blush-
no~
thats nothing...
i hope so...

but i was kind of happy...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~

well anyway...
look forward for next time! ^^

Labels: My Feelings

Open Forum:

POSTED ON Thursday, February 11, 2010 AT 6:25 PM \\

Hello! ^^
i'm back again...

here's my opinion first.

the recovery of my emotions has...
quite okay now.
i mean...
its 49% okay.

and i can laugh but not too loud like before...
i can smile
but im still quiet...

but thats okay.

maybe another week, im okay now.
but there are times that im still quiet...

and i haven't been sitting alone in the corner for a while now...

NOTE:
im not EMO okay...
i know that myself...

well thats because thats what they said...
but NO! i know im not! >:3

okay the Story:

February 10, 2010
Thursday

when i heard that the other sections have made their OPEN FORUM i decided i also want to have ours.
thats because i want to know their NEGATIVE COMMENTS about me...
and i also want to know Mr. Brightside's negative comment about me...

oh and also
i notice that AxeX's have been avoiding me which made me thought that he hates me...

but Kyashii-chan and C.C. said that he kind of feel conscious talking to me... and so do i... i kind of feel conscious over him too...

then during our free time...
oh before our free time.
BoyGirl ( <--- codename only ) already told our adviser about the Open Forum so she accepted it. but that bad thing is... while we we're about to do the open forum... our adviser's mug got broken cause of the RadioBoys ( <--- codename too ) naughtiness! and so our adviser got mad at us. so C.C.-chan ta=old everyone about the open forum so i joined, since im the one who wanted to start this.

but im not comfortable.
i want everybody to join.
especially those two...

but then
we continued about it.

many said their hidden feelings about each other.
and so i heard my negative comments as well...
but all of them are the same.

they told me that im EMO
but i really know myself that im not EMO!!!

they also said that im always sitting alone at the

well thats because i feel comfortable sitting alone at the corner...
sorry about it...
and this girl said that

"You're not invincible. We can notice you, but its like you dont want us to notice you"

USOTSUKI (LIAR)

hmm...
actually, i dont mind about it.
but...
its a lie.

they dont see me.
okay
they can see me but...

they dont talk to me.
which means...

ALONE

but i dont care anyway.
actually, im glad that that is what they thought about it...
but im still not satisfied...

so then after our OPEN FORUM
i went to my locker and put my bag and went to my club.
but as usual i didn't do anything.

then i saw Mr. 1st year Representative
we talked about how he hate NGUSO and how he really loves BoyGirl...

but anyways...
i wont include that anymore.
that's his story! >:3

and he has his own blog too!
but its not yet updated...

well thats all for today...
wish me luck okay!
wish me luck to be the person that i once were! ^^

Look forward for the others okay!!! ^^

Labels: My Feelings

when i lost my trust...

POSTED ON Sunday, February 7, 2010 AT 1:39 PM \\

February 5, 2010
FRIDAY

hmm...
i was kind of quiet, i mean...
if im in the classroom.
its like it wasn't me...
but outside the room, its like the normal me.
and im so happy that i can smile.
but still sad cause inside is like...
a very different person.

after our CLUB time
our class adviser talked to me.
she ask me why i've been so quiet this past few weeks...
actually i have no plan to tell her my problem
but she said if i dont tell her the reason
she'll tell my mom that i cried.
so i have no choice but to tell her.
i just told her the half of it.
because its already our CLUB time.

so i went there and went inside.
i saw Job, my best friend then i talked to him but i dont know what topic i should tell him...

Job lets talk in english

so we start playing
then after a while
i just spoke into our language...
so i got minus 1 until it became minus 6...
we've been playing around with the one we know when we heard them talk

so until we got bored.
so then i went to go and practice for our school's anniversary.
well we just finished our practice early so we we're also dismissed early.

so after that i stayed at school for many hours and take a look at our class picture.
argh...
i was so ugly there. as if i've been pretty! ^^ hahaah!
then when i saw one my classmates pic
LOL
he mouth was WIDE OPEN!!!
i can stop at laughing on that day!

so until we're the only left, i went home with Clariz.
like before...

then i thought
im going to give my friends a Valentines Chocolate!
aw~ i wish it was a homemade chocolate...
but i dont know how...
so i'll just have to buy it... ^^

February 6 2010
[SATURDAY]

the day of our SCHOOL PTC
so, my mom went there...
and me,
i was left behind at my house
watching, and using a computer.

then after many many hour...
my mom came...
GAH!!!
MY ACADEMICS ARE SO LOW!!!
THERE'S REALLY NO POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE PART OF TOP 10!!! >o<
but my conduct are so high...
-sigh-

then my mom suddenly said
i mean..
forget about it.
she knew about my problem in school
that she thought that maybe thats the reason why i want to transfer school...

which is true...
i kind of feel...
betrayed...

she told me that if i told her my problem...
she wont tell.

when she ask on Friday
i knew it that she wants me to talk to her about my problem
so that she can give that info to my mom.

-sigh-
i should believe to what i just thought...

then...
i kind of feel...
i dont want to trust anymore...

i was about to cry
but dont want to...
cause of course she'll worry...
so i just kept it..

Yappari...
its better to hide your feelings...

thats all for today...

Labels: My Feelings

A missing Item...

POSTED ON Tuesday, February 2, 2010 AT 5:36 PM \\

February 2 2010
Tuesday

hmm...
it was like a NORMAL as in NORMAL these past few days.
like...
being ALONE ,ISOLATED again...
-sigh-
its just so terrible...
i cant even think of any reason why im not SATISFIED yet...
is it because we didn't made up yet...
no...
i think its not THAT the reason...

its like there's something else...
i just dont know what is that thing...

so...
i've been sad...
i mean...
yeah SAD...

but hey...
i didn't thought that sitting alone in the CORNER was kind of fun.
well anyways, lets forget about it...

here are my problems...

1. DONT KNOW WHATS MAKING ME SAD.
or something like "Why am i sad even though i made up with them already?" something like that.
2. MY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ARE KILLING ME!!!
lets say, my mind is full of " MINUS that! and MINUS that! equals to MINUS THAT!!! no POSITIVE sign on my plans... well except for my academics! ^^
3. CAN'T EVEN SMILE!!!
or something like cant laugh... or... YEAH THATS IT, ALRIGHT!!!
-sigh-
even though its very funny, i cant laugh, or something like
i'll laugh but not too loud like before...
i cant even think of smiling...

[Click the Image above]

i mean...
smiling while there's something painful?

i use to prefer that way...
but in what just happen...
i cant do it anymore.

4. THINKS OF ENDING HER LIFE!!!
well its just my opinion.
because of TOO many problems that i have, i just dont know what to do anymore...
its just too painful...

-sigh-

all i know...
is that...

i just cant turn myself into ACTIVE MODE

cause there's still something missing...

thats all for today.

look forward for the others okay! ^^

Labels: My Feelings

Re:United... But somethings missing...

POSTED ON Monday, February 1, 2010 AT 5:50 PM \\

February 1, 2010

9:45 am
i was called by Celline and Dwy
they ask me something
then they notice that i was kinda sad...
then i just suddenly cry.
then i went to the Comfort Room.
then i just cry a little then i just thought i dont want to go back to the classroom.
so i told to our adviser that im going to the clinic.

so i went there with Dwy and Celline.
the Nurse talked to me if what if my problem why am i in the clinic.
so i told her that my head aches
so she let me sit.
then just suddenly she notice that i was about to cry
then she told me why
then i told her the whole story
then she said she'll call the guidance councilor but i said no im fine
but she wont listen
so i just went there and told everything,
then i told them my problem then Sir. Ferdie asked for my friends name that made me thought that i was left behind.
i was surprised when he just suddenly said "Call these people"
i told them please dont.
but they wont listen.
so after a while, they just came.
Sir Ferdie told me about anime, i mean, his experience in anime.
that may caused me that its like, something like INFLUENCED.
so he told me that, i must not think that way cause its not normal anymore.
then we talked and talked and talked about my thoughts over them.
like i just thought that maybe they hate me so much
they want me to die
something like that.
well they said that, "No thats not what we just thought. We're really worried but we just thought that maybe you just felt like that over to us. we'll just avoid you so that you can think. but its like we're too much. that made you think we're leaving you behind"
well even though we already apologized to each other
im still not conviced. <---- SO STUBBORN

well yeah i am.
sorry bout it.
thats the result of my NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
-sigh-
even though we're kind of OKAY now...
yeah, promise.
im still not CONVINCED
-sigh-
i think...
there's still something missing...

so even thought we're fine now...
me still INVINCIBLE in class.
they dont talk to me too much.
so me just soooooooo QUIET
sigh...

well...
even though its very painful...
i think i would prefer to be sad...
what i just thought is that...

kind of

Happy

Sad

well thats what i thought anyway in being ISOLATED...
but i know that there is still something missing...
which is why im not SATISFIED

-sigh-
sorry...

Labels: My Feelings