SIGH~
POSTED ON Friday, September 23, 2011 AT 10:49 PM \\
Hello! i got lazy using CAPS. i just feel like using it whenever i talk to her~ She's so OSM! LOL! XD


anyway~ Today's the day! to update `mi bloggie.


so here i go~ :3


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[i'll just tell or write anything that i remember]

first, about him. I always saw him wondering around. and now it all makes sense why.
but anyway, i'm just glad that he talks to me little by little.

Sept. 22, 2011
[Thursday]

i wanted to die. so bad.
but then~

it's our CAT day. again.. =="
it's also our cards day.

then there.. lalala~ i just made 2 suicide letters~ :3 I'mma serious nee.
i was so liek "UGH! LET ME DIE ALREADY! *A*"

i even told this to my friends. Wil, told me "If you're going to die, please visit me and take me with you."
he don't wanna live anymore too. but dunno why he wanna die.

i laughed and said "Sure, but before that, i'll find a perfect spot to die on"

my classmates knew about it too. Especially this Marinelle. I ... really find her annoying. =="
i hate the way she talks. i wanna pull her down instead. ==" ugh~ she's so damn annoying.

oh and i forgot my written report. i was so pissed that morning too. so then i told rendell
"Hey, i'll tell it to you immediately. i forgot my written report. i'm sorry, blame it all on me. bye"

so i went back to my sit being disappointed. i was so so so disappointed to myself nee.. =="
i hate that feeling.. and i did my best not to cry. sigh~ why is life so harsh on me? =="

on my suicide letter, i said that God never does exist. he sucks.
sigh~ 

then uh what else?

anyway, right after the CAT, we had this blablabla. then straight to that parish something. my parents didn't come. first time. but imma not disappointed or sumthin. then lalalala~ i was so nervous. i'm just glad i passed all my subjects. first time... i didn't receive a line of 7 in my card.

Sept. 23, 2011
Friday

Mark, Guban and I chatted.
They told me he likes her and her likes him. Mutual Love.
too bad she won't accept him as boyfriend cuz.. you know.. she's a good girl.

i was... ==" dunno.

but i was happy for her.. i'm just glad that Mark & Guban trusted me to tell that secret of theirs.. and currently, Mark has one.. :3

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That's all i guess.. :3

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i realized something
POSTED ON Saturday, September 17, 2011 AT 3:20 PM \\
hello~ This will be short.

i realized how i feel at ease whenever see an artwork whose crying. whether its a girl, boy or whatsoever. as long as its crying. i thought maybe cause i was so sad, that i can't cry anymore. so seeing those crying artworks makes me thought that they would cry for me, for so i can't do that. it... pains me so bad. it makes me think how lonely i am in this world.

same goes with listening to sad songs. [speaking of sad songs, i'll change my current song on `mi bloggie]

yeah.. that's right... i always thought i'm not sad about it anymore.. though its true, i'm still a human anyway. i can still feel emotions. even though i was bullied before, i used to cry so hard that time. but now, thinking about it, i thought.. it became my strength i guess. but still, being alone is such a sad thing.. but still, i don't mind.

i don't mind if they forgot about me.

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MEMORY
POSTED ON Sunday, September 11, 2011 AT 9:03 PM \\
HELLO! HERE I AM GONNA POST WHAT HAPPENED TO ME THIS WEEK..
WELL, I'LL JUST RECALL WHAT MY BRAIN CAN REMEMBER.. I'M BEING SO DENSE THESE DAYS..
AND GOSH, SCHOOL'S MAKING ME TIRED YOU KNOW..


OKAY SO HERE I GO~


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SEPT. 6, 2011
TUESDAY

FIRST TIME, I WAS ABSENT AT SCHOOL.

SEPT. 7, 2011
WEDNESDAY

I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH A FAKE REASONING.
AND THEY ALSO HAD A NEW SITTING ARRANGEMENT.
I SIT NEXT TO MJ THAT UH... UH.. ==" STILL AT THE BACK.

SEPT. 8, 2011
THURSDAY
BDAY OF MOTHER MARY

SO WE HAD A CELEBRATION.
I BORROWED A MONEY FROM MY CLASSMATE.
WE HAD A HALF DAY.
TALKED A LOT BUT I DON'T FEEL HAPPY.

JIGME'S BIRTHDAY.
OH AND I ALSO HAD THAT PRETTY FLOWER..
IT'S SO PRETTY~ AHH..
OH AND I ALSO LOST HER FLOWER [MOIRA'S]
SO I PROMISED MYSELF THAT I'LL BUY HER MY FAVORITE FLOWER [WHICH IS A SUNFLOWER] AND GIVE IT TO HER IN EXCHANGE.. :3

THEN AFTER THAT, WE WENT TO JIGME'S HOUSE. ATE A CAKE.
[I FINISHED THE CAKE.. ==" THEN IT MAKES ME SICK]
THEN AFTER THAT, WE WATCHED PARANORMAL 2

AT FIRST I WASN'T SCARED [WHEN I WATCHED IT DURING MY 11TH GRADE]
BUT NOW, I WAS LIEK "KYAAA!"
YEP, I KEEP YELLING SO YEAH...

SEPT. 9, 2011
FRIDAY

FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED.

SEPT. 10, 2011
SATURDAY
RECOLLECTION DAY

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME
SO THERE, THEY TALKED ABOUT GOD

THEN ONE TIME, WE HAD THIS GROUP ACTIVITY
AND THERE'S THIS QUESTION

"WHAT DO YOU SEARCH IN LIFE?"
HE SAID HAPPINESS, CUZ HE SAID HE LACKS IT.
I ALSO SAID THE SAME THING, BUT MY REASON IS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS ANYMORE...
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE HAPPY.. HOW CAN I BE HAPPY, WHAT IS HAPPINESS?
THEN SUDDENLY, THIS GIRL SAID 
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS? I'LL GIVE YOU A DICTIONARY"
THEN I WAS LIKE "(ANGRY SNAP) HA HA"
THEN I MURMURED TO MYSELF
"THAT WASN'T FUNNY"

THEN I WAS LIKE
I WAS SAYING THE TRUTH.. I WASN'T HAPPY ABOUT IT.. 
THEN SUDDENLY IT MAKES ME CRY..

AT THE END OF THE FIRST HALF, I CRIED A LITTLE.
I WONDER IF EVERYONE SAW.. SIGH..
THEN I REALIZED, I REALLY HATE EVERYONE.. I DON'T WANNA TALK TO THEM ANYMORE..

I DON'T CARE IF MY LIFE IS LONELY, IS SAD OR WHATSOEVER.
I'M OKAY THIS WAY. AND I DON'T WANNA CHANGE.

SO THEN LALALA~

THEN WE HAD THIS CONFESSION [AND SAD TO SAY, IT SUCKS AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT]
I REALIZE I DON'T REGRET WHAT I SAID.

THEN AFTER THAT, WE HAD A MASS, SO YEAH THEN WE WENT HOME.

OH YEAH, WIL & CLARIZ WENT TO MY HOUSE THIS DAY. NOTHING, THEY WE'RE JUST KILLING SOME TIME. AND SO, WE WATCHED 1ST EPISODE OF SHIKI.. :3
I HOPE THEY LIKED IT..

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i was.. simply.. touched.. LOL!~ XD
POSTED ON Tuesday, September 6, 2011 AT 7:24 PM \\
Sept. 6, 2011 Tuesday

this is the day where for the first time, i was absent at my new school.
why? cuz i feel so lazy, my head hurts, and i have to finish my outline report for History. And it sure is tiring..
i've been in front of my lappy the moment i woke up and today it's night time, i still doing the outline.. sigh~


anyway, my friend pm-ed me in tumblr asked me why i'm absent and said they went to mcdo hoping i would come.. but i didn't.. actually, i was planning to do that too (but of course without telling them)
but then i thought no one would come, besides i'm so busy i have to finish this fucking output. so yeah, sad. besides, i dun have money too~ so yeah.. LOL! XD i thought no one would be worried about me~ :3

so hearing this kinda makes me happy~ and i'm glad we thought the same thing.. :3 ^^

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OTAKU EXPO 2011
POSTED ON Sunday, September 4, 2011 AT 7:48 PM \\
HELLO~ TODAY IS SEPTEMBER 4, 2011! AND ITS THE LAST DAY OF OTAKU EXPO! XD
I, SADLY.. DUN HAVE PICTURES. CUZ MY DAD BOUGHT OUT CAMERA AND WENT TO HIS PROVINCE. I DIDN'T EVEN GET THE CHANCE TO ASK FOR MONEY.. =="


SO I WENT TO THE MALL ALONE, AND IT'S REALLY FAR. MY MOM WAS SO WORRIED THAT SHE COMES WITH ME UNTIL I RODE A BUS. XD


SO I WENT THERE LALALA~ THE CONVENTION WAS KINDA SMALL THIS TIME. AND GUESS WHAT!? I WASTED MY MONEY! TT^TT SIGH~


AND I WAS SO TIRED! AND `YE KNOW WHAT!? I ONLY BOUGHT 1 CD! TT^TT AND IT'S NURARIHIYON NO MAGO SEASON 1. I HAVEN'T FINISHED WATCHING IT YET. I WANNA BUY TEGAMI BACHI REVERSE AND NATSUME YUJINJOU [? IS MY SPELLING CORRECT?] SIGH~ 


SO THEN, I SAW MY FRIENDS. WE WE'RE REUNITED! YAY! XD LALALA~ WALK WALK WALK. SO MANY COSPLAYERS. AND ONCE AGAIN, I DIDN'T SAW A SHIZUO-SAN COSPLAYER.. =3=" WHY...? TT^TT 


WE WALKED SO LONG NEE~ I WAS SO TIRED AND GOT BORED.. ==" CUZ I HAVE NO MONEY SO I WAS SAD.. XD SO THERE~ XD BUT AT LEAST IT WAS FUN.


OH YEAH, I GOT TO EAT A TAIYAKI.. AND IT'S... NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. BUT IT'S YUMMY~ XD 

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WILLIAM'S BDAY~ XD
POSTED ON Saturday, September 3, 2011 AT 1:27 AM \\
ALOO DEAR BLOGGIE. XD TODAY'S WIL'S BDAY. XD HAPPY BDAY TO HIM~ XDD
SO TODAY'S THE FIRST FRIDAY OF OUR F*********** SCHOOL~ :3


AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED? MARINELLE SUDDENLY ASKED ME IF I ATTEND CHURCH MASSES, I SAID NO OF COURSE [CUZ I GOT USED TO IT... BLAME SOMEONE.. =3="] THEN SHE WAS LIEK "HUH!?" THEN THEY MURMURED WITH HER SEATMATES. THEN SHE ASKED ME AGAIN "DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?" THEN I SAID NO AGAIN [CUZ I DUNNO IF HE'S REAL. AND I BLAME HIM FOR MY LIFE'S UNLUCKINESS.] THEN MURMUR AGAIN~ SHEESH~ ==" SEEING THEM LIEK THAT, TO BE HONEST, I WAS ANNOYED. BUT OH WELL, LIEK `ME CARE. I DON'T GET SAD, MAD THAT EASILY ANYMORE. UNLIKE BEFORE, I WAS SO HOT HEADED. DUNNO HOW I BECAME SO CALM.


I EVEN REMEMBER BEFORE, I OVERHEARD MY CLASSMATE SAYING "WHO BOUGHT THE ICE CREAM? SO CHEAP" AND IT WAS ACTUALLY ME WHO BOUGHT IT. IT HURTS BUT, IT'S OKAY. IMMA USED TO IT. SIGH~ I'VE EXPERIENCED BULLYING, BEING A LONER, A TOTAL LONER.. SO THEN I DECIDED, TO KEEP MY DISTANCE. I DON'T REALLY WANNA BE SAD THAT MUCH BUT... WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE, I... DON'T CARE ABOUT IT ANYMORE. THOUGH YEAH, IT SADDENS ME SUMETIME BUT.. PAST IS PAST. LOL~ AT LEAST I DIDN'T CURSED THEM. I REALLY CURSE PEOPLE WHOM I REALLY HATE. AND I HAVE SOMEONE I CURSED. KEKEKE~


SO THEN, DURING DISMISSAL, WE WENT TO MCDONALDS. AND EVERYBODY'S PRESENT. XD HORRAY~ FIRST TIME. XD CUZ ITS WIL'S BDAY ANYWAY. I WONDER IF HE'S HAPPY. :3 


DURING MY BIRTHDAY, THIS YEAR 2011, NOTHING HAPPENED. PROMISE. I WAS, ALL ALONE AT HOME. NOBODY GREETS ME. EXCEPT MY ONLINE BESTIES. I REALLY CRIED. AND THAT WAS 12AM. AWW~ I MISS HER~ WHERE THE HECK IS SHE!? =3="


ANYWAY, SO THERE, I JUST ORDERED COKE FLOAT CUZ POOR HIM. I WONDER WHY EVERYTIME SOMEONE HAVE A BIRTHDAY, HE/SHE HAVE TO TREAT US ALL. OH WELL~ XD


SO AFTER THAT, JIGS WENT HOME AND THE REST WENT TO MY HOUSE. NOTHING HAPPENED MUCH. THEY MADE MY HOUSE LIEK A PAST TIME ROUTINE. SHEESH~ XD OH JEROME FELL ASLEEP AT MY ROOM, AND HE SURE IS SCARY. TO BE HONEST, I DON'T LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH HIM.. ==" HE.. KINDA ANNOYS ME. AND SO IS SECTION B. I REALLY HATE CLASS B - KINDNESS. UGH~ NOW I UNDERSTAND HOW CLARIZ FEEL.


SO THEN ANYWAY, WILLIAM TRIED USING MY PEN TABLET, THEN UH.. WHAT ELSE... HE WAS SO LIEK "UGH~ YOUR HAND IS SO PRETTY! SO ANNOYING!" LOL~ SO FER THAT, I LET HIM BORROW MY xxxHOLiC & TRC CHARACTER GUIDE BOOKS. IT'S REALLY INTERESTING. BESIDES, MY ARTWORKS WE'RE KINDA REFERRED TO CLAMP-SAN~ :3 THEY'RE SO AWESOME. BUT THEN, I CHANGED STYLES. :3


SO WHAT ELSE...? OH YEAH~ OTAKU EXPO THIS SUNDAY. YAY! XD I'LL GO ALONE I GUESS. XD SO THERE, THEY WENT HOME THEN I WATCH THE GRUNGE 2 ON TV. IT'S... OKAY. XD KINDA SCARY. XD


SO THERE YOU GO~ THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TODAY. XD BYE BYE~ ON SUNDAY AGAIN! XD




[UGH~ MY DAD BOUGHT OUR CAMERA! TT^TT HOW SHOULD I TAKE PICTURES OF THE COSPLAYERS!? TT^TT]

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