well you see.. these past few days (since last week)
i have been so sad. and i don't know why.
whenever i look at my friends and classmates it sometimes makes me think

Why did i ever came here?
Why were they my only friends?
why am i like this?
why can't i just change?

those questions that i dunno how to answer.

so anyway i shall start my 1 week stories.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sept. 22, 2012 (Saturday)

Clariz and I were supposed to meet up at EVER. But she woke up too early so we didn't meet at all.
So all i did was check out some pants for our cosplay.
The cheapest that i saw was 279.
then i went back home, finally arrived home, i discovered she was waiting for me for 2 hours and she left just before i came!
sheesh!
talk about bad luck.
Then after that, i started stalking Kan-san and watched One Piece.
Oh and i wore my yellow wig.
William and Nicole seems to liked it. they said i kinda looked cool (others pretty). Will said i looked like a rock star.
Then @meganemaro saw some of my photos and liked it and said i looked pretty yet cute. LOL
kinda flattered. what i told her was just thanks.
I read from someone back then that if someone complimented you, you should at least thank them for thinking so.
Because if not, it's like uh..? i dunno.
So i thanked her instead even though i don't like it when they're telling me that.
(i dunno if i thanked Will and Nickey though)

Sept. 23, 2012 (Sunday)

Nothing much happened. I just watched One Piece the whole day.
Went to the grocery with my mom. Bought cookies and ice cream and cosmetics stuff.
Oh and i finally finish reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower
it was okay. i read it during midnight cause it's the only time that i have nothing to do,.

Sept. 24, 2012 (Monday)

I was once again late for the assembly.
Then back to our room.
T.Thess, our adviser came and they gave her a surprise gift.
so we didn't have classes.
Then Physics came, i discovered that i might have my physics line of 7.
It made me shock so much. compared to my friends, theirs are fine!
i'm so stupid, i don't wanna study anymore.
I even wanna cry but i tried to not to. I'm so disappointed to myself.
I have to study hard!!! But i don't want to cheat. I have to study hard!
Sigh~ i want my 3rd year days. In where my Chemistry were fine.
I seriously have to study hard. i don't want that kind of score again. I'll fix my grades.
I'll study hard!! REALLY!! *A*
DARN I WANNA CRY!!
i'm so sad about today.
And my friends doesn't seem to care. Probably because their grades are okay than mine.
I feel so stupid i don't wanna be with them anymore.
I wanna talk to Roberta.
(Hey.. i've been lonely for quite a while now. I just noticed. What should i do?)
Right now is CLE, i feel so sad about that grades that i wanna cry.
But i have to do my best to not to.
Who should i talk to?
I don't really wanna cry. It makes you look all weak.
I've cried a tons of times now.
(except watching animes/movies)
During Lunch, i was waiting for Roberta.
She's the only friend i have that at least have the time to listen.
My friends really doesn't seem to care. Must be because they're smart.
I ended up crying in front of her and told her friends what i was sad about.
She said many in her class failed too, unlike ours.
So while i was starring outside, only William cared to ask why i'm out. the rest ignored me.
I sometimes wonder what kind of friends they were.
I really don't wanna cry.
Good thing is that Charles at least talk to me from time to time.
He would tease me too.
While i was outside, i suddenly thought maybe i'm a wallflower too like Charlie. Though unlike him, he has friends who really cared for him.

Sept. 25, 2012 (Tuesday)

I started reading Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief
so far so good! :3
(but i'm already in chp. 12)
I just noticed i've been so sad these days.
Then suddenly, we found out that our investigatory project will be next week Monday.
we were panicking because our schedules are really tight.
Then i heard my friends planning for their project but this Saturday which is COSMANIA
Then i heard we should not attend cosmania and do our project instead
I was so sad about it and Clariz just outraged.
Since i'm solo, i;ll be doing mine soon.
My motto this day was "Time Management"

Sept. 26, 2012 (Wednesday)

I think i'm still sad. I really want to cry.
But i also don't want to cry. sigh~
my emotions are suppressed huh.
Anyway this morning, i asked Clariz how was their project.
She kept on saying she don't know.
Then i told her that we should still attend because we prepared about this for the whole month
(since August)
Then i told her that for their project, i suggest her to do it alone instead (The easiest one)
So that we can still attend
i think Jerome and William won't be coming.
I'm really sad about that but i can't blame them.
i don't know if i'm expecting them to come, but i was kind of excited that we'll be going together.
After school, i went home immediately and went to EVER, waiting for Clariz.
So we bought our pants and she also treated me to MCDO.
On our way home (Oh yeah, i already save our costume. It was okay)
Clariz and I had come to a realization.
We don't have money anymore for COSMANIA!!
What should we do?
so anyway as i went home, my mom was...?
//forget it.
I heard my mom was talking about my brother to someone from the Phone.
I heard my brother is smoking.
i was really sad about it
EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HIM TO NEVER EVER SMOKE OR EVEN USE DRUGS!! *A*
(I suddenly thought about Charlie's sister. LOL)
So as soon as my brother came home, i talked to him.
Sigh~ He said he's really not smoking.
And i let him promise to never do that. as in NEVER


Sept. 27, 2012 (Thusday)

Right now i'm so sad. I got to see my scores on our exam.
I passed my math exam but i failed (obviously) my Physics.
My score in Economics was higher than i thought. 62/70.
Oh well... i feel like crying again.
My grades are so.. low.
Unlike my friends.
It just made me realize how stupid i am. Thinking about it makes me wanna cry a lot.
To be honest i ended up crying. It's not just obvious because i covered my face using my hair.
Sam also said that it's okay because she said she used to have grades like me.
When she said about that, i kinda wanna cry.
I also told to Nicole that i haven't been talking to her. She just said "Yeah. Why?"
i just kept quiet and just sat down and continued reading Percy Jackson Book 1.
William also asked my why do i look so sad. i just shook my head.
sigh..
then Consultation for our Feasibility.
i kind of slipped and everyone was liek "Hey you okay?"
then he said "You okay? That's because he thinks you're weird that's why..."
then i never got to hear what he said.
so i thought, So i'm really weird to others...? Not that i care much.
anyway the one who said that was the person that i used to like that starts in letter C.
but anyway..
today was such a sad day for me.
so sad.. really

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so this is it. my latest update

Labels: 1 week of Memories..., My Feelings

Based on my notebook again. :3
so here i start. :3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sept. 17, 2012 (Monday)

i went to school (late)
then recess. I notice how William was really quiet.
He seems.. nah. He's really sad.
I can't even talk to him. too scared.
He was quiet the whole day.
Anyway i asked my friend to watch Kan-san playing The Grudge with me.
They said on Friday.
Since i don't want to waste their time just to watch, we'll play Slender Man. 
(So i'll have to install it //gulp)

Anyway, i fangirled so much that i almost can't breathe.
I love KANZENTAICELL-SAMA SO MUCH!! ❤
so there~~~
On our war home, Nickey (I just discovered the i spelled her name all this time wrong. *A*)
said something about Naruto BEING NORMAL.
It made me really sad and i was hurt so much.
Luckily, i was with Clariz cause i really cried. 
It just hurts me so much.
Oh and Carlo was there too.
Anyway that's it.

Sept. 18, 2012 (Tuesday)

i don't remember much.
All i remember is that William, Clariz and I went to Mcdo and they suddenly thought to eat at Chowking instead. GEEZ!!
Anyway, we ended up eating at Mcdo. After that, Clariz and I went to my place the we discovered that my wig finally arrived!! SO HAPPY!!
LOL
Then we had our measurements for our King & Queen of Spades COSPLAY.
---> Oh and William finally talked to me. :3 I also cried on this day too. I dunno why.
---> i also got to see him in the jeep. Even sat beside him.

Sept. 19, 2012 (Wednesday)

It's P.E day!! it sucks cause its our first subject.
I think i was late. (yah i was.)
the moment i arrived at school, i saw Clariz' homework and RYAN HIGA WAS THERE!!! 
SO UPSET THAT I DIDN'T PUT HIM ONTO MY CRUSH LISTS!!!
so upset i wanna faint. 
Until Sir Awie arrived, i'm still  upset and kept messing my hair as a sign of sadness or disappointment.

Anyway, we played Scrabble. Many letters were missing. So in the end, they just posted dirty stuff on the board and the even took a photo of it. (Though i was the one who took it.)

Then what else? 
Nothing much anymore.
Oh yeah, i cried because of Jamaica.
I was trying so hard to not cry but i ended up crying. 
[Hey.. i've been crying for 3 straight days now... ==" i must have been so lonely]
She said something about being upset cause i didn't gave her a piece of paper and that i i lied to her
(Sigh i'll never lie again. Not that i'm making a promise. Because i know It's inevitable)
i suddenly thought i can't stand being hated by my friends 
(well i don't mind if i also don't like that person)
Anyway, he saw me crying and asked why. Then the others too.
Suddenly Sam and Xandrah asked why i'm crying, Sam suddenly said Why is it when i cry i still look pretty. (Geez, i should stop wrtiting those)
Anyway, that's it. I recovered fast.
BTW, i almost cried because of disappointment when i saw Ryan on Clariz' homework.

Sept. 20, 2012 (Thursday)

what happened on this day?
i don't know. LOL

Sept. 21, 2012 (Friday)

Finally Friday!
Forgot what happened too.
Anyway, Jamaica said something bad about our teachers and the teacher(s) who are currently taking care of us overheard what we're talking about.
i mean, COME ON!! WHO WOULDN'T OVERHEAR HER IF HER VOICE WAS TOO LOUD!!
That teacher just laughed and said she'd give Jamaica a white slip. 
Not really her but she'll tell it to them and i think she was just kidding.
And cause of that, Jamaica had plans on being absent on Monday.

Then dismissal, William, Clariz, Nickey and I went to Mcdo but there we're no more chairs anymore.
(to be honest i wanted to eat at Chowking but Nickey wanted to eat at Mcdo. i was seriously pissed too. i just didn't made it obvious.)

Nickey kept saying to just take out our orders but i really feel bad if we did because i'm worried about William since i invited him to eat with us and he came for me 
(though i think i was forcing him to come)
And i'm so worried i dunno what to do so in the end, William left. 
i really felt bad because i invited him. i wanna apologize as soon as we got home.
After eating at Mcdo, we went back to FCM to buy little snacks then off to my place.
As we arrived, my mom was there.
I was a little sad cause we won't enjoy much our stay there.

Then opened the laptop, and the Net was so slow  that i took 30mins to DL Slender Man.
I felt bad too because they wasted their time for nothing.
I don't want something like that to happen again. 
The thing is, i'm too scared to install Slender Man. Like something might happen.
Geez. I'm being Paranoid.

After they left, i went back home, i came running. Checked my Twitter account and immediately apologized to William. He said it's okay and because he got pissed because of someone.
I still feel sorry (even typing this still make me feel responsible.. ><)

Anyway, i started making Logo for our feasib. I don't really know.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There. :3 that's it for today~~ :3
phew.. finally caught up.. =="
it was really such a hassle.
it's liek i was cramming.

Last friday, i also started Reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower
it was really nice. :3 it was okay.
after reading that, i thought i wanna buy the book The Hobbit
it seems really interesting since there will be a movie soon. :3
i even remember t.Lud saying about it. :3

anyway..
i think i have been sad these past few days.
i also have been crying.
except from the part of watching One Piece in where Oars died and i really cried.
but not about that..
i think i have just been so lonely.
so lonely i dunno how to explain.

reading the Perks of Being a wallflower makes me realize that i'm a wallflower too.
oh well.. i'm just giving my realizations.

and because of reading that book, i wanna read another book. :3
 i can't believe reading a book is really that interesting.
i wanna read more books. seriously.
even though i'm so lazy.
but before that, i have to fix my grades.
my grades, especially in Physics keep on dropping you know.
i still have half a quarter of our 2nd quarter and 2 more quarters to improve my grades.
i hope my friends would help me but i won't expect anything.
i really hate disappointing myself cause it really makes me cry.
really.

Labels: 1 week of Memories...

Sept. 16, 2012 (Sunday)

well nothing much really happened but..
OMG OMG OMG!!! *//////* I STALKED KAN-SAN!!!
I GOT TO KNOW THE REASON WHY HE QUIT EVERYTHING BEFORE!!!
IT'S CAUSE!! */////* mah. go check it our yourself.
OMG!! *////*
AND AND!!!
OMG I GOT TO SEE HIS PICTURE!! (his FAISU) !!! *///*
HE'S SO HANDSOME OMG !!! *////*
I WAS EVEN SO DOKI DOKI!!!
OMG OMG OMG!!! TAKE MY OVARIES WITH YOU!!!
//dies
oh and thanks to someone that i got to see his face (@suikan_n: SERIOUSLY, THANKS A LOT!! I OWE YOU MY LIFE!!)
Oh and i got to hear his latest cover!! ROLLING GIRL!
SEXY AS EVER OMG!! *////*

i also got to add his Skype account. *//////*
( I ALSO ACCIDENTALLY CALLED HIM!!! *//////* I STOPPED IT IMMEDIATELY TOO CAUSE I GOT SCARED!!)
OMG I ALSO ACCIDENTALLY TWEET HIM!!!
i deleted it though ( ; _ ; )
i don't want him to unfollow me.. TT^TT


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this post was based on my notebook.
AND THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT KAN-SAN!! *///*
I LOVE HIM!!
opps.

Shizuo-san~~ don't worry i still love 5EVER!! ❤
Kisechii Baby and Kan-san are just my huge crushes. (or my boyfriends. LOL) ❤

Labels: My Feelings

OKAY BASED FROM MY NOTEBOOK AGAIN!! *A*
I WON'T ADD PICTURES FIRST TO MAKE IT FAST!!
I JUST WANNA FINISH THIS ASAP CAUSE ANOTHER WEEK IS ABOUT TO COME AND DAMN I'M GONNA SAY A LOT OF THINGS AGAIN!!!
IT'LL BE FOREVER UNDATED!!! 
sorry.. i really wanna put pictures.. =3="
oh well.

let's start!!
wait let's see.. last update was.. Sept. 8.. so 9 now.

Labels: 1 week of Memories...

heya guys~~ been a while. LOL
got lazy updating stuff~~ :3
maybe some photos are edited.. maybe some not.
anyway these are based on my notes.
cuz whenever i didn't got the chance to update my blog, i write them on my notebooks so i'll just have to type it. i find it more way better than typing it on a notepad.
too many distractions, yes?

okay so here i go~~

Labels: 1 week of Memories...

check them out~~ :3

Labels: Extra:

Sept. 4, 2012
TOLD YA~~ XDD

//cough.

anyway~~ finally!! i'm about to update!! >:3
so lemme start last Monday! i mean this Monday~ >:3

let's start! :3

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sept. 3, 2012, Monday

I don't remember much anymore. :3
But we had an assembly~~ :3
and i think he had a new hair cut? that person that i like. :3

then we went to the court. :3
we saw the deflated inflatables. LOOL! XDD

then recess, i think it wasn't still inflated. :3 then by the noon time...? it think it was already inflated.

Our adviser told us to wear jugging pants if we're going to the inflatables. :3
oh yeah~~ :3 he asked if he can have a 1/2 piece of paper~~ :3 i mean.. UNOEWHUT

Sept. 4, 2012, Tuesday

hmmm.. what happened on this day?
anyway Clariz and I had a little argument.
i was just stating her that i'm kinda having hard on my side about the cosplay stuff~
then she suddenly said some stuffs that i forgot.
there was a part of the words that she said that i really got hurt.
i asked Nicole to come with me at the CR (washroom)
i ended up crying a little there because.. i was really hurt.
ever since that.. i was on a BAD MOOD.

Then Physics came.. ==" MY MOOD BECOMES WORSE!! *A*
BECAUSE MY SERIES CIRCUIT SOMETHING WON'T WORK!!
I GAVE UP AND DID NOTHING!! *A*
i also don't have a partner for that combination.
so my mood became worse.
i wasn't in the mood to laugh or anything.

Then i think before Lunch time, she told me (Clariz i mean)
that she'll treat me to the Inflatables because i really have to experience it.
i was surprised that she talked to me.
because i really thought she's mad at me too.

so then~ even though she talked to me.. i'm still not in the mood anymore.

Until we tried that inflatables.
The line for the inflatables we're kinda long. so while waiting, i checked out those cute hamsters!!
THEY'RE SO ADORABLE AND I THINK THAT ONE HAMSTER LIEKS MEE!! *////*
he/she kept on hanging onto my finger~~ >///<

Oh and suddenly, William was lost. *A*
that's when we heard he was having a drama. he doesn't want to try the inflatables anymore because Nicole and Jerome scared the hell out of him~~ =="
Oh and i think I just discovered that William's afraid of birds.
LOL! T.Ludd~~ XD
//cough.
anyway~~ Inflatables we're fun. :3 i just keep on jumping around the corner because i don't want to injure myself. LOOOL! XDD health conscious much? XD

then after that~~ went home.

HEY HEY HEEEEY!! >:3 i did my MATH HOMEWORK!! >:3
though i'm not really sure if it's right~~ at least i did it.. :3

Sept. 5, 2012, Wednesday

hmmm.. I JUST DISCOVERED THAT THE GUY WHO'S TAKING CARE OF THAT SCHOOLASTIC SOMETHING IS ACTUALLY THE COUSIN OF MY OLD FRIEND ONYOK (Rodney James Rullan) WHO USED TO BE MY OLD CRUSH!! *A*
he kinda... became round. XD
i was really shocked ne..
i said Hey... he really.. seems familiar.....
so sometimes whenever Clariz and I pass by there.. i stare at him little just to confirm.

(anyway.. later that)
During Physics.. i kinda teamed up with Jomar, Alex and oh that's me.
Then T.Dhorz said i started with the hard one.
Then i asked her if it's okay to zero my other stuff. she said i can just make another one but if i really want to, she's fine with it. But Jomar took my paper and said No!! Let's fix it~~!!
Then they did..
i was so thankful that i wanna cry...
i dunno how to thank them.. ><
I REALLY DUNNO!! I'M SO GRATEFUL THAT I DUNNO WHAT TO DO!! *A*

i dunno how i should thank them..
maybe i should treat them next time.. as a sign of my gratitude..
[omg, ililibre ko pa si William. *A*]
//cough.

then uh..?
Oh after Physics we went down.

(continuing my earlier post)
i heard him calling Marinelle, Anelle. It's her nickname~~ :3
that's when i confirmed it is him!! :3
i was really shocked nee~~ can't believe it. LOL! XD
I also saw him talking with Patrick Neric. :3
so it really is him~~~

anyway we had another Inflatables. LOOL!
they treated me again.. //creys
Seriously.. thanks guys.. ( ; _ ; )

Then uh..? Math came. we had a long seatwork.
Then English.
It's time for us to report.
But before that, we had a quiz. The person that i ... UNOE~~~
asked a piece of paper to me again!! :3 AND THIS TIME I TALKED!! *////*
he was asking for 1/4 paper.
then he kept on saying "Another One"
Then i said "How many do you want...?"
he said Three.
After he left, i just smiled at Jamaica~~

(Oh yeah.. Jamaica had a slight injury.. she can't move her neck much and she can't laugh much. LOOL!)

i think this is my first time giving answers in a quiz.. i don't really usually do this but i owe them.. =="
i'll never do that again.

Then it's time to report.
I SERIOUSLY DID NOTHING THERE!!!
i was just standing there..
disappointed.. to myself again..
really.. as in.. sigh..

i don't want to be part of them anymore..
i hate sharing scores when i didn't even do anything at all.
i didn't even gave some effort.. or even contribution..
that kind of thing makes me really sad..
so that'll be the last.
i won't allow things like that to happen anymore..

after that.. we went home.. i was still so sad.
I even got to yell at Nicole.

Then Clariz and I went to Chowking.
hmm.. we talked about what life would be if we had siblings or no siblings..
but we usually talked about dogs.

The dogs that came to Clariz` life.
her Hana Tamago i think..? was eaten by the dog of their neighbor~
aww~~ she was about to cry.
oh well.
We did talked about dogs.

That's it for today~~ :3


~~~ TAIYOU, 10pm

Labels: 1 week of Memories..., EVENTS, Extra:, My Feelings

i woke up early..
then i thought where's my money?
so i went out of bed and figured that my dad's still here.
HE DIDN'T WENT TO HIS FLIGHT!! *A*
I DON'T HAVE MONEY!! UGH!!!
so annoyed but got nothing to do.. =="

so i fixed my room instead.
this is how it looked like back then~~

Labels: Extra:

Aug. 28, 2012, Tuesday

Labels: 1 week of Memories...