February 1, 2010

9:45 am
i was called by Celline and Dwy
they ask me something
then they notice that i was kinda sad...
then i just suddenly cry.
then i went to the Comfort Room.
then i just cry a little then i just thought i dont want to go back to the classroom.
so i told to our adviser that im going to the clinic.

so i went there with Dwy and Celline.
the Nurse talked to me if what if my problem why am i in the clinic.
so i told her that my head aches
so she let me sit.
then just suddenly she notice that i was about to cry
then she told me why
then i told her the whole story
then she said she'll call the guidance councilor but i said no im fine
but she wont listen
so i just went there and told everything,
then i told them my problem then Sir. Ferdie asked for my friends name that made me thought that i was left behind.
i was surprised when he just suddenly said "Call these people"
i told them please dont.
but they wont listen.
so after a while, they just came.
Sir Ferdie told me about anime, i mean, his experience in anime.
that may caused me that its like, something like INFLUENCED.
so he told me that, i must not think that way cause its not normal anymore.
then we talked and talked and talked about my thoughts over them.
like i just thought that maybe they hate me so much
they want me to die
something like that.
well they said that, "No thats not what we just thought. We're really worried but we just thought that maybe you just felt like that over to us. we'll just avoid you so that you can think. but its like we're too much. that made you think we're leaving you behind"
well even though we already apologized to each other
im still not conviced. <---- SO STUBBORN

well yeah i am.
sorry bout it.
thats the result of my NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
-sigh-
even though we're kind of OKAY now...
yeah, promise.
im still not CONVINCED
-sigh-
i think...
there's still something missing...

so even thought we're fine now...
me still INVINCIBLE in class.
they dont talk to me too much.
so me just soooooooo QUIET
sigh...

well...
even though its very painful...
i think i would prefer to be sad...
what i just thought is that...

kind of



well thats what i thought anyway in being ISOLATED...
but i know that there is still something missing...
which is why im not SATISFIED

-sigh-
sorry...

Labels: My Feelings