February 5, 2010
FRIDAY

hmm...
i was kind of quiet, i mean...
if im in the classroom.
its like it wasn't me...
but outside the room, its like the normal me.
and im so happy that i can smile.
but still sad cause inside is like...
a very different person.

after our CLUB time
our class adviser talked to me.
she ask me why i've been so quiet this past few weeks...
actually i have no plan to tell her my problem
but she said if i dont tell her the reason
she'll tell my mom that i cried.
so i have no choice but to tell her.
i just told her the half of it.
because its already our CLUB time.

so i went there and went inside.
i saw Job, my best friend then i talked to him but i dont know what topic i should tell him...

Job lets talk in english

so we start playing
then after a while
i just spoke into our language...
so i got minus 1 until it became minus 6...
we've been playing around with the one we know when we heard them talk

so until we got bored.
so then i went to go and practice for our school's anniversary.
well we just finished our practice early so we we're also dismissed early.

so after that i stayed at school for many hours and take a look at our class picture.
argh...
i was so ugly there. as if i've been pretty! ^^ hahaah!
then when i saw one my classmates pic
LOL
he mouth was WIDE OPEN!!!
i can stop at laughing on that day!

so until we're the only left, i went home with Clariz.
like before...

then i thought
im going to give my friends a Valentines Chocolate!
aw~ i wish it was a homemade chocolate...
but i dont know how...
so i'll just have to buy it... ^^

February 6 2010
[SATURDAY]

the day of our SCHOOL PTC
so, my mom went there...
and me,
i was left behind at my house
watching, and using a computer.

then after many many hour...
my mom came...
GAH!!!
MY ACADEMICS ARE SO LOW!!!
THERE'S REALLY NO POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE PART OF TOP 10!!! >o<
but my conduct are so high...
-sigh-

then my mom suddenly said
i mean..
forget about it.
she knew about my problem in school
that she thought that maybe thats the reason why i want to transfer school...

which is true...
i kind of feel...
betrayed...

she told me that if i told her my problem...
she wont tell.

when she ask on Friday
i knew it that she wants me to talk to her about my problem
so that she can give that info to my mom.

-sigh-
i should believe to what i just thought...

then...
i kind of feel...
i dont want to trust anymore...

i was about to cry
but dont want to...
cause of course she'll worry...
so i just kept it..


Yappari...
its better to hide your feelings...




thats all for today...

Labels: My Feelings