....
hello blog.
today.. i realized something again...

i thought.. i can't die yet...
my mother.. i can't let her be in vain. now i have my reason to live. i can't let my mom suffer.
i'll do my best to be a good daughter.

why? because today, Oct. 31, 2011, Monday..., 10-11pm...

my stupid brother came home late...
my mother was so mad, so mad that she tried calling the police then... she cried and suddenly she can't breathe. i was so worried that i don't know what to do... i was scared that she might die.. she was holding her chest like she's having a heart attack...

i was so worried that i want to cry but i can't.... i don't know what to do... i was so so worried... [jeez.. my hands are shaking while typing this...]

i'm a useless daughter.. i should die.. but i can't.. if i did that.. i'm sure my mom will be sad.... i want to commit suicide now but... i really can't!!! argh this is so hard! i really wanted to shout at my stupid brother!!!

mom.. please be okay... i'll be a good girl.. don't die yet...........

i'm so really worried......