well you see.. these past few days (since last week)
i have been so sad. and i don't know why.
whenever i look at my friends and classmates it sometimes makes me think

Why did i ever came here?
Why were they my only friends?
why am i like this?
why can't i just change?

those questions that i dunno how to answer.

so anyway i shall start my 1 week stories.


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Sept. 22, 2012 (Saturday)

Clariz and I were supposed to meet up at EVER. But she woke up too early so we didn't meet at all.
So all i did was check out some pants for our cosplay.
The cheapest that i saw was 279.
then i went back home, finally arrived home, i discovered she was waiting for me for 2 hours and she left just before i came!
sheesh!
talk about bad luck.
Then after that, i started stalking Kan-san and watched One Piece.
Oh and i wore my yellow wig.
William and Nicole seems to liked it. they said i kinda looked cool (others pretty). Will said i looked like a rock star.
Then @meganemaro saw some of my photos and liked it and said i looked pretty yet cute. LOL
kinda flattered. what i told her was just thanks.
I read from someone back then that if someone complimented you, you should at least thank them for thinking so.
Because if not, it's like uh..? i dunno.
So i thanked her instead even though i don't like it when they're telling me that.
(i dunno if i thanked Will and Nickey though)

Sept. 23, 2012 (Sunday)

Nothing much happened. I just watched One Piece the whole day.
Went to the grocery with my mom. Bought cookies and ice cream and cosmetics stuff.
Oh and i finally finish reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower
it was okay. i read it during midnight cause it's the only time that i have nothing to do,.

Sept. 24, 2012 (Monday)

I was once again late for the assembly.
Then back to our room.
T.Thess, our adviser came and they gave her a surprise gift.
so we didn't have classes.
Then Physics came, i discovered that i might have my physics line of 7.
It made me shock so much. compared to my friends, theirs are fine!
i'm so stupid, i don't wanna study anymore.
I even wanna cry but i tried to not to. I'm so disappointed to myself.
I have to study hard!!! But i don't want to cheat. I have to study hard!
Sigh~ i want my 3rd year days. In where my Chemistry were fine.
I seriously have to study hard. i don't want that kind of score again. I'll fix my grades.
I'll study hard!! REALLY!! *A*
DARN I WANNA CRY!!
i'm so sad about today.
And my friends doesn't seem to care. Probably because their grades are okay than mine.
I feel so stupid i don't wanna be with them anymore.
I wanna talk to Roberta.
(Hey.. i've been lonely for quite a while now. I just noticed. What should i do?)
Right now is CLE, i feel so sad about that grades that i wanna cry.
But i have to do my best to not to.
Who should i talk to?
I don't really wanna cry. It makes you look all weak.
I've cried a tons of times now.
(except watching animes/movies)
During Lunch, i was waiting for Roberta.
She's the only friend i have that at least have the time to listen.
My friends really doesn't seem to care. Must be because they're smart.
I ended up crying in front of her and told her friends what i was sad about.
She said many in her class failed too, unlike ours.
So while i was starring outside, only William cared to ask why i'm out. the rest ignored me.
I sometimes wonder what kind of friends they were.
I really don't wanna cry.
Good thing is that Charles at least talk to me from time to time.
He would tease me too.
While i was outside, i suddenly thought maybe i'm a wallflower too like Charlie. Though unlike him, he has friends who really cared for him.

Sept. 25, 2012 (Tuesday)

I started reading Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief
so far so good! :3
(but i'm already in chp. 12)
I just noticed i've been so sad these days.
Then suddenly, we found out that our investigatory project will be next week Monday.
we were panicking because our schedules are really tight.
Then i heard my friends planning for their project but this Saturday which is COSMANIA
Then i heard we should not attend cosmania and do our project instead
I was so sad about it and Clariz just outraged.
Since i'm solo, i;ll be doing mine soon.
My motto this day was "Time Management"

Sept. 26, 2012 (Wednesday)

I think i'm still sad. I really want to cry.
But i also don't want to cry. sigh~
my emotions are suppressed huh.
Anyway this morning, i asked Clariz how was their project.
She kept on saying she don't know.
Then i told her that we should still attend because we prepared about this for the whole month
(since August)
Then i told her that for their project, i suggest her to do it alone instead (The easiest one)
So that we can still attend
i think Jerome and William won't be coming.
I'm really sad about that but i can't blame them.
i don't know if i'm expecting them to come, but i was kind of excited that we'll be going together.
After school, i went home immediately and went to EVER, waiting for Clariz.
So we bought our pants and she also treated me to MCDO.
On our way home (Oh yeah, i already save our costume. It was okay)
Clariz and I had come to a realization.
We don't have money anymore for COSMANIA!!
What should we do?
so anyway as i went home, my mom was...?
//forget it.
I heard my mom was talking about my brother to someone from the Phone.
I heard my brother is smoking.
i was really sad about it
EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HIM TO NEVER EVER SMOKE OR EVEN USE DRUGS!! *A*
(I suddenly thought about Charlie's sister. LOL)
So as soon as my brother came home, i talked to him.
Sigh~ He said he's really not smoking.
And i let him promise to never do that. as in NEVER


Sept. 27, 2012 (Thusday)

Right now i'm so sad. I got to see my scores on our exam.
I passed my math exam but i failed (obviously) my Physics.
My score in Economics was higher than i thought. 62/70.
Oh well... i feel like crying again.
My grades are so.. low.
Unlike my friends.
It just made me realize how stupid i am. Thinking about it makes me wanna cry a lot.
To be honest i ended up crying. It's not just obvious because i covered my face using my hair.
Sam also said that it's okay because she said she used to have grades like me.
When she said about that, i kinda wanna cry.
I also told to Nicole that i haven't been talking to her. She just said "Yeah. Why?"
i just kept quiet and just sat down and continued reading Percy Jackson Book 1.
William also asked my why do i look so sad. i just shook my head.
sigh..
then Consultation for our Feasibility.
i kind of slipped and everyone was liek "Hey you okay?"
then he said "You okay? That's because he thinks you're weird that's why..."
then i never got to hear what he said.
so i thought, So i'm really weird to others...? Not that i care much.
anyway the one who said that was the person that i used to like that starts in letter C.
but anyway..
today was such a sad day for me.
so sad.. really

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so this is it. my latest update

Labels: 1 week of Memories..., My Feelings