hey dear blog. it's me again.
well.. i just wanna tell something. i've always noticed this. because ever since we had a new sitting arrangement, it became my hobby to silently observe my friends. and so i'll share what i noticed.

i'm sure that i've stated this on my previous post but then i'll repeat.
my friend william, he had new friends. he's happy with his life. he passed UST and he usually hangs out with Jam than us. before well.. we're usually together. and no, i'm not jealous. hmm.. tbh i don't know. maybe not really jealous but i just feel sad.
and sometimes whenever i hang out with them (him & jam) i feel liek a huge third wheel. whenever they're talking and i find something funny, i just laugh but i don't talk that much. i feel so.. extra.

then my other friend, Clariz and Jigs. they get along a lot. my friend Clariz well.. she usually and mostly talks about USUK and in every time we talk, there won't be a time in where she won't mention USUK. i really find it.. well not annoying. and not tiring but hmm.. ==" dunno the right word. but that i want to say is that, how can she do that? sticking to one fandom forever. i'm not like that. and she mostly hangs out with jigz cuz of their yaoiness. plus they make fanfic together. and once again.. i'm another huge third wheel. this makes it the 2nd row.

so my conclusion?
my friends.. doesn't feel like my friends anymore. whenever we're complete.. they usually just talk and sometimes (i think) they don't know i'm with them. i feel so alone and left out.
is it because i'm a very boring person?

and another conclusion?
no such friends lasts forever. i'm better off alone.

Labels: My Feelings