hey hello again! :3
my previous post sure is my 1 month summary of my life. :3
good thing it's the only thing that happened so far. :3 i want to keep my memories too.
i think i have this disorder in where i forget things happen. liek.. i have no idea why and when did it happened. but oh well still not sure. it's just a feeling i get.

anyway this post will be all about my feelings.
ever since we had our new sitting arrangement, i realized how alone and lonely i was.
now that William has new friends. (oh and he officially passed his USTet results that i cried for him. it's a mixture of happiness and jealousy.)
and Clariz and Jigz.. they're.. they get along together. i always feel liek i'm a third wheel in their friendship. sigh.. even tho they're saying that we should stick together, it feels liek i'm not really part of them.

then William.. he found new friends. he's close with Jamello. i even told him (jokingly) that i'm jealous. ==" but really it's a joke. LOL he even pushed me.
what i want to say is that it feels liek my friends are slowly going away. i'm very much aware that friends don't really last. tbh i find it funny when my friends suddenly blurt our their future ideas of use living together, having fun. and me, inside of my brain, kept saying that's so not gonna happen.

one time, (well this was Thursday, Feb. 21, 2013) my friend William told me that Jomar invited him to hang out with them and said its cause they're his friend and William was so funny. WIlliam said something that made me cry (i kept on holding it for a while but then it just POOP) so yeah i cried. i realized how lonely i was when i have such few friends.

i also find it hard talking to Nicole. it's like.. she's a stranger that i have to deal with. besides she.. probably doesn't care about me anymore. after what we've done to her.

i'm so conscious about having friends, grades, about my loneliness and stuff that it makes me more sad. when suddenly i thought i don't want to make friends anymore. i don't want to make myself sad anymore. i don't want to be lonely anymore...

so yeah. i just want to tell cuz.. yeah.

Labels: Extra:, My Feelings