Happy Birthday
POSTED ON Wednesday, May 15, 2013 AT 1:50 AM \\
hey~~ it's already 1am here.
anyway.. today is Papa (not my real dad)'s bday. you see... i prepared my pen tablet, my sketchpad to draw something for him. (she's actually a girl)

so.. i'm really excited. about my short mmv gift for him and yeah. thats why i send him an sms at least once a day. telling him a happy bday.

so few minutes before 12am (May 15), Mika, Maro, Papa and I skyped. .. it was funny at first cuz no one talks and papa actually have an accent. i feel so... belittle cuz... i dunno. then there.. they finally talked. and i'm the only one left who didn't talked. i... i'm sorry. i really can't. i was too scared and shy and... i was ... i feel ashamed and sorry for myself.

i can hear them talking and i.. i'm.... i heard papa said "it's kinda unfair to us who talked" and well.. it kinda hit me. i was really hurt and was sad. so i removed my earplugs and just left it. but i didn't unplug the earphones so that i won't hear what they're saying. it really hit me from the heart and thought i'm so selfish. it was even her birthday and i'm like that. i felt like i ruined everything.. my happy bday surprise for her. now it ended up to this.


i had it empty. oh and it was said "May 15 2013" why?? i felt like its my responsible. i dunno. i feel responsible for what happened. i'm sorry. i can't face you right now. i won't even reply to their tweets. i..

i'm pretty sure its okay anyway. :3 i think i'm not really needed or important so.. losing one won't cause anything that much right??

as for me.. i'm done. i don't mind being alone. really. well... i sure hope they didn't heard me cry.. cuz i was ignoring their messages in skype.

anyway here are the extras:



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